Broken Yet Still Standing
by triplethreatabc
Summary: Aubrey, Beca, and Chloe Mitchell-Posen are madly in love and have four amazing grown kids. Each of them are at the high points in their twenties, but they all reflect back on low moments - moments where they needed their moms more than ever before. Triple-Treble AU. OC heavy.
1. Lights Will Guide You Home

**A/N:** Creating a new universe in which Triple-Treble are moms of four teenage kids who are all dealing with something pivotal in their teenage lives. All these stories will be told in the POV of their children: Justin, Bella, Anna, and Nicole. The story will also be told in second person because I feel like there's a hell of a lot of power in that. We will be going back and forth in order of the siblings. The story is also going to be told as if it were their adult selves thinking back on a pivotal time in their life, so also time traveling a bit. I promise it's not as confusing as it sounds.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own anything related to Pitch Perfect or the songs I use to express the character's emotion in these chapters. The OC characters and plot are mine only.

 **General Trigger warning:** In this story we will be talking about mental health issues, underage drinking, sex, and other heavy topics.

 **Trigger** **Warning For _This_ Chapter:** Mental health issues, almost attempted suicide, underage drinking.

* * *

 **Chapter One: Lights Will Guide You Home**

 **Justin Lincoln Mitchell-Posen**

 **Year 2047, age 27**

You didn't need to be told that you and your siblings were living a different life from your friends. You _knew_. They _knew_. You knew it wasn't usual for three people to be so madly in love with each other. It wasn't usual to have three moms, but you didn't know any different, so why the hell did it matter? You also didn't mind being the only guy in the house either—it made you feel good in a strange way. Your mom—Aubrey—the lawyer who is always the one who makes sure you and your sisters were okay, even if she just spent all day dealing with frustrating clients, opponents, and judges, you know she's always there when you need her. With soft hugs and cuddles. Reassuring advice. She may be tough professionally, but personally, she was the softest person you know.

And then there's your ma—Beca—the music producer and the reason why your "friends" with some of your friends. She's the one that gets you free concert tickets to whatever concert you want. The one that no matter the situation will be there, drop whatever she's doing, and is there. She's the one that when you have serious anxiety attacks is always there to reassure you that you're fine and that it's okay. She puts up this badass, take-no-prisoners front to the world, but with her family, she's all about the cuddling and loving. Sometimes maybe even too much.

And finally, there's your mama—Chloe—the doctor and the reason why you and your sisters were even alive at that point. She carried all four of you while your guys' mom and ma's careers took off and she wanted to take a break after medical school to start interning and her residency. You know that you and your sisters have a closer bond with her because of that, but all for of you loved your mom and ma more than any of you can seem to describe. Your mama was the one who checked for injuries when you were hurt, really took care of you when you were sick, and when someone dared to break your heart, was the one to put your broken pieces back together.

All three of them worked as a team though, always showing up to your baseball games, your sister Bella's cross country meets, your sister Anna's soccer games, and your sister Nicole's STEM tournaments. Most importantly because they loved each of you as the special human being you are to the family.

So as you look down at your own wife, Danielle and your two's brand new baby boy, Caleb, you remember a time in your senior year of high school when you didn't think you'd make it this far.

* * *

 **Year 2037, age 17**

It confused you, why you were so anxious and depressed all the damn time. It confused you why you always somehow ended up in a bigger panic attack than the time before. It confused you why you were sitting with your back against the tub in the bathroom you shared with your siblings at three o'clock in the fucking morning because of another anxiety attack. You had a good life—everything you needed, most of what you wanted. How were you going to survive going away to college next fall if you cannot manage your day-to-day life here? How were you going to survive if you got accepted into one of the ivy leagues like you and your family were hoping you would? Would you survive? Or would you fail on the East Coast crawling back to the West Coast like a dog with its tail between its legs? You don't know how long you've been sitting here crying alone, but suddenly you feel hands on your shoulders and you look up to see your mom looking down in concern at you.

"Are you okay, love?" She asked you. You furiously shook your head, tears still coming down fast. "What's wrong?" You shrugged and buried your face in your knee again. Hoping— _praying_ that this would all just go away.

You then feel like there's more than just the two of you in this bathroom and you see your ma and mama standing at the door with concerned looks on their faces, "What's going on, champ?" Your ma asked you. "You okay?" Your furiously shook your head again, rocking back and forth—feeling nauseous. "Okay, can you look up at me please?" You look up at your ma, who was now crouched in front of you, "You anxious?" She asked softly as your mom moved to give your ma more space to care for you. You nod. "Is about those college apps?" You nodded.

"Justin honey," your mama said, "you don't have to worry about those until around Christmas anyway."

"You know our boy, Chlo." Your mom said. "Always thinking ten steps ahead of the game. He'll make a great businessman one day."

You begin to hyperventilate, "I can't- I can't bre- breathe." You get out making your mothers jump into action. You were grateful that you were next to the toilet because you sat up and thew up in it. You felt three hands rubbing your back as your stomach emptied. You flush the toilet and sit back to see three concerned sets of eyes on you. "I'm okay," you mumbled.

"No you're not," your ma said, "and that's okay. We're here to take care of you love."

"Come on," your mom said, "let's get you to bed."

Your mama helped you off the ground and wrapped an arm around you, "Love you honey." She whispered to you. "So does mom and ma," she added making the other two nod their heads.

"Love you three." You mumbled back before curling between your mom and mama with your ma's hand soothingly running through your hair until you fell asleep.

* * *

It was two months later on Christmas Eve when you felt it again, you didn't know what it meant as you were tying your tie for the umpteenth time because you mom and mama insisted that you go to church as a family making you, your siblings, and even your ma slightly roll eyes because since when were you and your family a church family?

Suddenly a sharp pain in your chest arose and you grabbed the vanity in the bathroom and started hyperventilating. "I can't- I can't bre- breathe." You got out and your sister Bella happened to be walking by as she saw it.

"Bubba?" She said as you almost collapsed. "Bubba!" She called more firmly making you snap out of it and look at her, "Are you okay?" She asked.

"F-f-f-fine." You got out.

"Do you need me to get one of the moms?" She asked softly.

You shook your head fervently, "Don't even think about it," you got out.

She stands up holding her hands up and backing away, "Okay, okay. Well, we have to get to that church now, sooo…" You stood up, your tie still not tied straight, Bella fixed it for you, "You know you're going to have to tell them, right?"

"I don't want to ruin Christmas," you say. "I'll be fine. Do not tell them about this, do you hear me?"

She nods as she helps you into your suit jacket, "Whatever you say, bubba." Bella says as you both walked out of the bathroom and were met downstairs by your family.

"About damn time," your ma says looking at her watch.

"Since when are you so eager to get to a church service, ma?" Anna asked looking skeptical at the music producer.

"I just wanna get this thing over with," she says as she looks over at you. "You okay love?" She asked you softly.

You immediately brush it off, "Oh yeah, definitely." You say. "Okay fam, let's get this over with."

What you don't see behind you was your moms giving each other concerned looks and the nervous lip between Bella's teeth, and your moms looking pointedly at her.

* * *

"Why do we suffer through that every single year?" You hear your youngest sister Nicole complain. You had earphones in and were sitting in the back of your ma's SUV.

"We don't suffer," you hear your mom say from the passenger's seat, holding your ma's hand as she drove you all to the Christmas party that you all go to for her label every year on Christmas Eve. "Just because we get weird looks every time we walk in there doesn't mean we suffer."

 _When you try your best but you don't succeed_

 _Get what you want but not what you need_

 _Stuck in reverse_

You turned your music up so you didn't have to listen to your family's conversation. You listen closely to the lyrics as you closed your eyes and leaned against the window.

You kept thinking about how everyone around you just seemed so happy, but you just couldn't figure it out. Why couldn't you, Justin Lincoln Mitchell-Posen: oldest child and only son of Aubrey, Beca, and Chloe Mitchell-Posen, older brother of Isabella Grace, Anna Faye, and Nicole Claire Mitchell-Posen, boyfriend of Danielle Rae Sawyer, captain of the Heritage Preparatory Academy's varsity baseball team, honor roll student, why you had anxiety?

 _When tears come streaming down your face_

When you lose something that you can't replace

When you someone but it goes to waste

 _Could it be worse?_

You close your eyes tightly, you can hear that your family is talking, but you don't know what about and nor at this point, do you even care.

 _Lights will guide you home_

 _And ignite your bones_

 _And I will try to fix you_

You feel your phone vibrate and you look down to see a text from your girlfriend, Danielle, you two had been dating since the summer between middle school and high school and have been best friends since kindergarten and she seems to always know when you're hurting. What she didn't know this time is that _you wanted to die._

 _Danielle: Hey, you seemed a little off at that church this evening, everything okay? Love you._

You feel tears dwelling in your eyes and you quickly wipe them away.

 _Tears come streaming down your face_

 _When you lose something you cannot replace_

 _Tears streaming down your face_

 _And I_

You decide to text her back, giving her more of the honest truth than your own family.

 _You: No, I'm… hurting._

You see that she's texting you back and you try to hope this isn't her breaking up with you, but your anxiety is telling you otherwise.

 _Tears come streaming down your face_

When you lose something you cannot replace

Tears streaming down your face

 _And I_

She isn't breaking up with you—which surprises you, but you accept it.

 _Danielle: I love you, Just._

You smile thinking of how tears must be dwelling in her eyes. You see that she's typing again so you wait.

 _Lights will guide you home._

 _And ignite your bones._

Another text came less than thirty seconds later.

 _Danielle: Tell me what I can do. Tell me how I can help._

You smile because you begin to realize that you want to spend forever with this one, but you don't know if she would.

 _And I will try to fix you_

* * *

Your ma pulls up the where the party is at and you still hadn't texted back Danielle yet, but you were silently crying hiding your face as your family got out of the car. You didn't even notice until you felt a hand on your upper back, you look up to see your mom who had come to see why you hadn't gotten out of the car, your face still wet with tears, she gets out for a moment, "You all go inside, we'll meet you in there in a minute." You hear her say to your family.

"Is everything okay?" You hear ma say.

"I'll figure it out," your mom says. "You all go inside. Especially you Bec, this is your company, go hang out with your employees and the family, I got Justin."

Your mom then climbs in the back as best as she can in the dress she was wearing and when she got comfortable she pulled you into her. She didn't talk quite yet. She's gotten used to your anxiety and depression and knows how you work. She kissed the top of your head every so often as she rubbed your arm, "Whenever you're ready baby. Don't feel the need to talk until you're ready."

It was a long moment before you said, "I'm hurting." Hoping she heard the deeper context behind your statement, _"Mommy, I wanna die!"_

She doesn't, "What do you mean hun?" She asked before placing a kiss on your head.

"Every part of me... _aches._ " You say crying again.

"Okay," your mom kissed your forehead and left her lips lingering there for a moment. "Is it your anxiety, hun?" She asked softly.

"I- I- I think so," you stumbled out. "I had a mini anxiety attack before we left the house this evening."

"Okay," she said softly, "that explains why Bella was acting so weird when we first left."

"I told her not to tell you, ma, or mama." You tell the truth. "I didn't want to ruin Christmas."

"Okay hun," your mom said, "you could never _ruin_ Christmas."

"Why do I have to be the one to be like this?" You asked. "So- so... _broken._ "

"You aren't broken, honey." The lawyer insisted. "Y'know me and your moms have all had severe anxiety at one point in our lives." She said in attempt to make you feel better.

"Really?" You asked.

She nodded, "For me, it was when your mama was pregnant with you." Your mom said rubbing your arm. "I didn't have the closest relationship with Nana and Papa growing up. I didn't know how to... _parent_. I spent nine months processing becoming one that I was so anxious that your ma thought that I was going to have a heart attack or something." She pulled you closer, "We tried to hide my anxiety from your mama, but you know your mama is perceptive as hell."

"What'd she do about it?" You asked softly.

"She and your ma put me in the middle of the bed and calmed me down. Reminded me of how much I was going to be an awesome parent to you." She chuckled, "I was the first one to hold you, your mama and ma made sure of it, and when I looked into your dark blue eyes for the first time, I knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but I could parent you. And that's what took the anxiety away. I still have a small case of it. Every time I go to court, I feel like, even though I have a track record of winning ever since starting my own practice. Or every time your mama, ma, and I are arguing, sometimes I still don't feel good enough for them."

"What about ma and mama?" You ask after a moment.

"What about them hun?" She asked now running fingers through your hair.

"What do they get anxious about?" You asked.

"That's _their_ story to tell." She says simply. "You should ask them."

* * *

You know your family was going to be the last people to leave this party as BM Records was your ma's company. You and your mom had come in after about a half an hour and when you came in your mama pulled you into her side and didn't let you go. You took it as a hint that you weren't to leave her side with the exception to use the restroom. You only left her side once to do that and then you came back immediately and tucked back into her side. She was sitting on the couch talking to one of the artists signed to Beca's label. You looked around to find your ma, who had her arm around your mom, as they were talking to another one of the signed artists.

The artist that was talking to your mama got up to get another drink, but was distracted on the way there. Your mama took that time to focus solely on you, "How are you doing baby?" She asked kissing your forehead.

"I'm okay right now," you said softly. "My mental health is just really bad right now."

"What can I do to help?" She asked before repeatedly kissing your forehead.

"I was kinda wondering if you could tell me your story with anxiety. Mom was telling me hers in the car and told me to ask you and ma your two's story." You said it so hesitantly because you don't know whether or not you are bringing up demons for the redhead.

"I was in medical school, I had a big exam coming up and I wasn't sleeping. Your moms had to literally pull a textbook out of my hands and close my laptop and pull me today bed. They always put me in the middle because they would know if I got up after they fell asleep because they were light sleepers." She was telling you this story as she rubbed your arm and messed with the wine glass in her hands. "They made the mistake of that the first time and I got up and a few days later-" She cleared her throat, "I- I- I went into a mental breakdown on campus ended up in the hospital and I didn't tell them until I didn't have the choice. They got super worried that I was _that_ anxious. I still kind of struggle with it, especially working with kids with cancer in my own practice, it's _hard_. When a _child_ dies, I think of you and your sisters thinking it could be you." You see that she's staring at her wives who were talking and laughing with two artists. "And then your mom and ma calm me down, reminding me that we have four _healthy_ kids, and that I wear my heart on my sleeve because I care so much."

"I had no idea, mama." You said curling into her more. "With your sunny disposition and all."

"Even the person with the sunniest of dispositions have hard emotions," she said. "Your moms and I are going to help you through this baby. I promise. You just gotta come to us."

"I can't make any promises, but I'll try." You said kissing her cheek.

* * *

You couldn't handle this anymore. It's New Year's Eve now and your depression and anxiety keep getting worse by the day. You just want it all to _end._ You kept thinking how everyone was better off without you. You had driven your car next to a bridge that over looks a freeway. You could hear fireworks going off in the background, you looked at your watch, and saw that it was 8:00pm. _"Tonight, I'm gonna die," you thought to yourself._

You had left a note apologizing to your family and girlfriend, you think of the contents of that letter as you sit, drinking the last of what you think will be your first and only six pack of beer, _if you're gonna go out, you gotta see what the hype is about._ Your letter read:

 _Dear family and Danielle (please make sure she reads this),_

 _I'm sorry that I couldn't be enough for you._

 _I'm sorry that my mental health got in the way._

 _I can't live like this anymore, so before starting a new year of misery, I thought I'd end it all._

 _Moms, I love all three of you. Thank you for loving me._

 _Bella, I really hope you consider enlisting in the Army, if West Point doesn't accept you. I think you'd make a pretty damn good soldier. I love you sis._

 _Anna, keep your head up and stay out of trouble for me, will you? You are capable of great things. I love you sport._

 _Nicole, I know you always felt left out of everything because of your interest in STEM stuff that no one in the family could understand, but you're gonna do amazing things. I love you, nerd._

 _Danielle, my love, I'm sorry that I couldn't be better for you. I'm sorry it has to end like this, but please move on. Love again because you have so much love to give._

 _Love,  
_ _-Justin_

You were about to stand up when you heard someone call your name, "Justin!" You turned to see all three of your moms getting out of your ma's SUV, it was ma who called your name. "Justin love, this _isn't_ the way." She said. "We can help you."

"I can't do this anymore, moms. Don't make me do this, _please._ " You said as your ma approached you.

"I know what you're feeling is scary," ma said. "I know, I struggled with it all throughout high school and college. I almost jump off a similar bridge in Atlanta myself right before your moms and I got together my senior year because I was tired of feeling depressed, anxious, and _helpless_. I'm gonna need you to come towards me." You began to shake because you _really_ want to die in this moment and you didn't like the fact that your ma was trying to talk you out of it. "Life gets better, I promise," ma said. "It may not seem like it right now, but it does. Life gets _so_ much better." You hear the shakiness in her speech that you've never heard of before and you looked at her, she was really concerned, "I can't lose you, love. You and your siblings are the four extensions of my heart that are filled by your moms' love to keep _me_ from doing this same thing every single day." She said looking at you intensely. "When I almost did this, I had all of your aca-aunts trying to talk me off. The only thing that got me off was when your moms showed up and promised me a better life. So, it looks like it's time for me to pay that forward, Justin Lincoln Mitchell-Posen, I promise you that if you come down off this ledge that mom, mama, and I will get you the help that you _need_. I promise you that I'll _always_ be there when you need me to just sit with you or hold you," you heard her voice getting shaky, so you look away, back down at the 405. "I promise you that if you come down off this ledge that I will guide you in the direction of your dreams. I promise you that if you come off this ledge that I will laugh with you every single day. I promise that as long as you need it, I will be the first thing you see every morning with a cup of coffee for both of us and the last thing you see every night. I promise you a better life. Just please, for the love of everything that is _good,_ come down off that ledge." You looked back at her and saw your mom and mama standing behind her _worried._ You looked at your ma again, her arms were wide open, and she was openly crying, "Please just come into my arms, love. We'll go and get you help."

You looked back to the busy freeway and then back at your ma and then went into her arms and she held you so tight against her despite you being three times bigger than her. You then felt two other pairs of arms around you indicating that you were being embraced by all three of your moms.

* * *

 **Year 2047, age 27**

You looked down at your wide awake son and sleeping wife. You grabbed your son out of her arms and began gently bouncing him. You were humming a lullaby as he settled into your arms, he looked curiously up at you, and you whispered, "Caleb Thomas Mitchell-Posen, I promise that as your dad, I'll do _everything_ to protect you. I'll love you unconditionally and I'll never leave you. I promise to be there when you're hurting and to comfort you. I promise to guide you into the direction of your craziest and wildest dreams. I promise to make you laugh and laugh with you every single day. I promise to be the best dad that I know how. I won't be perfect, but I'll do my damn best to give you the life that you deserve." You lean down and kiss his head.

You don't see it because you're so focused on your son, but all three of your moms are standing in the doorway with tears in their eyes. You've come a long way since that New Year's Eve. You had graduated from high school that spring, top of your class, and had gone off to Harvard Business School, graduated with Summa Cum Laude and became an executive director on Wall Street. You married the love of your life who was a CEO of a technology company that helped people with mental health get better, she and your younger sister Nicole founded together after your almost suicide attempt. And exactly ten years since then, on this particular New Year's Eve, you were holding one of the greatest things you could ever ask for in the world and _you wanted to live._

* * *

 **A/N:** So that was more intense writing that than I expected. Dunno how long this story is gonna be or if anyone even likes it, but okay. I'll get started on the next chapter.


	2. One Day My Love

**A/n:** Here's Bella's chapter.

 **Some notes:** I've had a hell of a year and can't guarantee consistency quite yet, but I do plan on _eventually_ finishing this story. With all of the family members—Triple Treble included. Oh and no trigger warning for this chapter—unless, of course, you need a trigger warning for unrequited love and heartbreak.

So basically, it's sad and there's some language, but nothing outside of that.

* * *

 **Chapter Two: One Day My Love**

 **1st Lieutenant Isabella Grace Mitchell-Posen**

 **Year 2047, age 25**

You were sitting on an airplane, landing after a long deployment. You were anxious to see your wife and her son. Your legs were bouncing up and down and you had a lip between your teeth. You graduated from West Point Military Academy and graduated top of your class, studying physics. You were living your best life, officer in the United States Army, married to the love of your life, Abby, a high school English teacher who brought her son, Thomas, into your life, and you couldn't have imagined having a better life. But, as you were taxiing into the gate listening to the flight attendant saying something about it almost being the new year and is thanking you for your service, you thought of a time where you didn't think you'd make it through. It was ten years ago, when you were 15.

* * *

 **Year 2037, age 15**

You were sitting at your desk attempting to do your homework when you heard crying from downstairs. You got up to investigate it. You got halfway down the stairs when you realized it was your mama. Your mom and ma had her sandwiched between them.

"What if I could've done something different in his treatment?" Your mama cried out. "What if I-" She began to hyperventilate.

You watched as she curled more into your ma as your mom said, "You did everything you could to save his life, Chlo. It's not your fault."

"Yeah Chlo." Beca said. "You're a _good_ doctor. I promise you that."

You sat there and listened to their conversation, this happens every once and awhile. One of your mama's patients dies, she feels like she could've done something different to save their life. Your mom and ma would reassure her that she did everything that she could and that she was a good doctor. She would cry. It would last for a couple of hours and then your mama would be feeling back to normal- _ish_ again.

You took a deep breath as you watched your mama fall into your mom and ma, years of partnership at work. The love they had for each other reminds you of the love you have for someone who doesn't even love you back in that same way. Your family knew that you were gay. Well, they _knew_ , but you didn't necessarily tell them. You know, _obviously_ , that your family would be okay with it and are waiting for you to just come out, but it was a little harder than that. You fell in love with this girl, Sophie Brady, and you knew you could never have her. One because she's straight and two even is she was gay or bi or pan, she was your friend and you didn't want to _ruin the friendship_ , so to speak.

You got up and went back to your homework. You knew that your mom and ma had your mama and that by breakfast tomorrow morning she'd be okay again. When you got back to your room you heard your phone ding alerting you about a text message.

 _Sophie: Did you talk with Chad today?_

You rolled your eyes because she's been crushing on the new kid since the beginning of the school year and he happened to be in some of your classes. You didn't know why you always had to play matchmaker for her when you were in love with her. You didn't know how this was all supposed to work. How you were supposed to get over her? Your straight best friend that would never feel the same way about you.

 _You: Kinda? But, only about the project we got paired up to do. Sorry. I'll try to talk to him tomorrow about you._

Part of you was rolling your eyes because you were frustrated with yourself. Why did you fall in love with a straight girl? A girl you could never have?

 _Sophie: It's okay! I know it's weird to try to talk to a guy about a girl he's probably never noticed before._

Now you're rolling your eyes because Sophie Brady was one of the most popular girls in your school. The only reason why you're still friends with her is because you basically tutor her to get her through math. But, you two don't really talk _at_ school. It was the unspoken agreement: you two talk all the time outside of school, but in school there was the social hierarchy to follow.

You two grew up together though, you two were inseparable until middle school came around and she got involved in cheerleading and you got involved with STEM.

 _You: Of course he knows who you are, Soph. I'll see where he stands on the wanting to be with you front._

You took a deep breath as you heard a knock on the door, you put your phone down and call, "Come in."

Your mom comes in and says, "Your mama lost Logan today. Cancer won this round. Just wanted to let you know that she maybe a little off during dinner."

"Okay," you said. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Just do what you're supposed to," your mom said. "You almost done with your homework?"

"Yeah, got a lot done during my free period today." You said. "Just a few more math problems."

"Okay," your mom said. "I'll leave you to it. I have to go warn the rest of your siblings."

She left the room and your phone buzzed again. You look down at it.

 _Sophie: You're the best! Love you, Bell._

You sighed because you know she didn't mean it in the way you would, but you text back anyway.

 _You: I love you too, Soph. No problemo._

You threw your phone across your desk in frustration.

* * *

You were sitting in your history class a few days later with Chad talking about your project.

"You want me to present the first half and you the second half?" Chad asked.

"Yeah, that'd be good." You said. "If you could put your half into the presentation doc and I'll do my part. We should do that by Monday."

"Sounds like I'll have a busy Sunday after homecoming." He said while chuckling.

"Oh yeah, I guess that is this weekend." You said. "You going with anyone?"

He chuckled again, "You asking?" He asked jokingly knowing that you were gay because he noticed that every girl at this school hits on him except for you and he asked why and you were honest with him. It was the first time you said it out loud and he nodded his head and it was a silent agreement that it would never be brought up publicly unless you brought it up.

"God no," you said chuckling yourself. "Genuinely curious."

"I wanted to ask Sophie Brady, but I doubt she likes me. She barely acknowledges me existence when I try to flirt with her at practice." He said.

Sometimes you wonder how someone as smart as Chad would actively _choose_ to play football, but it's not your place and at least you could tell the person you're in love with that the person she liked likes her back.

"Well you know Sophie, always focused when she needs to be." You said.

"You have an in with her right?" He asked. "As her tutor?"

You nodded, "I'll see what I can do." You said.

He nodded once with a smile that you could understand why girls liked him. It was pretty charming.

You sneakily take your phone out and text Sophie.

 _You: Start paying attention to him during practice. He likes you._

You hit send and felt a heaviness in your chest, indicating that your heart was shattered into a million pieces.

* * *

You threw yourself into school and the STEM club after that day. It's now Christmas Eve and you're standing with a coke can at your ma's record label's Christmas party. You felt bad because you lied to your moms about your brother. You had caught him in a panic attack and you know they've been getting worse and he told you not to tell your moms, to not to _ruin_ Christmas—whatever the hell that meant—and your mom was out calming him down. Your mama then walked up to you, "What do you know about Justin?" She asked.

You sighed knowing that you can't get out of it now, "He had a panic attack before we left in the bathroom and he made me promise not to tell you, ma, or mom." You said. "Is- is he getting worse?" You asked.

"I don't know honey," your mama said, "but please tell us if he has one that you see again, okay?" You nodded, "Are _you_ okay?" She brushed the hair out of your face. "You've been really quiet lately. Focused on school— _which is a good thing_ , but are you okay?"

"Just doing my best to try and get into West Point." You said. "I know you all said that money doesn't matter to get into whatever college we want, but I want to _earn_ my spot."

Your mama pulled you into a hug before seeing your ma gesture her over, "I gotta go mingle with ma, but find me later, maybe we can actually talk."

You nod, still not wanting to talk about Sophie yet, but to let your mama know that you hear her, she kissed your forehead before walking away. You watched as she walked into your ma's arm and shook the hand of the artist they both were talking to. You then looked to the door and saw your mom and brother walking in.

You try to find a corner to hide in. You find one and then pull your phone out of your pants pocket and scroll through your social media feeds—it's something during school you don't let yourself do that often. That you have to be focused on school to get into West Point, to stay on the cross country team. You worked hard and you didn't let yourself do anything less than that.

You scroll passed a picture of Sophie and Chad. They had been dating since the afternoon in that history class and you tried to let yourself grieve, but you couldn't even get yourself to cry. You had come out to your family over dinner a couple of weeks ago and they all managed to keep their _"we know"_ comments to themselves and you are very appreciative of that. You hadn't told them about falling in love with Sophie though because that's not something you want to bring up with a bunch of people you know would tell you just how straight she is—so, you kept that painful detail to yourself.

You stared at this picture and you see the caption:

 _SophieBrady: First Christmas with my baby._

They looked happy together, all dressed up, at Sophie's parents' Christmas Eve party. You had a tear forming in your eye, but you wouldn't let yourself cry at your ma's Christmas party.

One of the, you assume, artist's daughters then randomly falls in the beanbag chair across from the one you're sitting in, "Hi," she then said.

"Hi." You said looking up from your phone briefly before looking back down staring at your phone—staring at the picture of Chad and Sophie.

"Ex boyfriend?" She asked nonchalantly, you shake your head. "Ah, ex girlfriend?"

You shake your head again, "Neither, just a straight girl I fell in love with and she doesn't even know." You said. "It hurts, y'know? Watching them together at school and on social media."

"Maybe do you heart a favor and unfollow her on social media?" She said. "You can't do anything about running into her at school, but off campus you can do something about seeing her show up on your feed."

"Yeah," you said distantly. "I should."

"I'm Alexis, by the way." She then said. "My mom is in one of the bands here connected to this label."

You lock your phone, "Oh," you said looking at her, "which one?"

"After Calendar," she said. "How you connected to the label?"

"Oh, uh, one of my mom's is the owner, Beca Mitchell." You said, looking over at your ma who had her arm around your mom, you quickly scan the room for your mama and saw that she was sitting talking to another artist with Justin curled into her.

You watch her eyes make the connection, "Oh wow," she said. "Wow."

"Yeah," you said sheepishly. "She's the best." You add softly.

"Your other moms?" She then asked.

"They're the best too," you said. "My siblings and I are well loved."

"That's great." She said. You put the phone back in your pocket, "What are you into?"

"Trying to get into West Point," you said. "I wanna serve this country."

"That's really great," she said.

You nod, "What about you?" You asked. "What do you wanna do?"

Alexis shrugged, "I don't know yet. Still a freshman." She said.

You two talked for the rest of the night and for once you felt like you could do just about anything you set your mind to.

 _Maybe._

* * *

You were in the kitchen making tea while watching as your ma held Justin one night a few months later, you were getting over Sophie, one day at a time. You took Alexis' advice and unfollowed her on all of the social media platforms and you did your damn best to avoid her and Chad at school.

"How are you doing love?" You hear your ma start to check in with your big brother.

"I'm okay," he said. "Today wasn't as bad. Just trying to adjust to these meds."

She kissed the top of his head, "Yeah, some days will be harder than others." She said.

"Did mom and mama help you through it?" He asked.

She nodded, "They would try to not hover, but they definitely hovered. I'd be doing a mix with headphones on and I'd see out of the corner of my eye your mom studying for some law school class and every minute she'd look over at me to see if I was okay. Your mama would be a little less subtle, she'd always try to cuddle with me _while_ I was working on the mix."

"So they don't change much," he said through a chuckle. "Mom walks passed my door like every half an hour while I'm studying and mama will come in and rub my shoulders and try to get me to talk while I'm studying."

Your ma nodded, "Yeah, they're really worried about you." She said. "I am too."

You decided to give them a little privacy, but you stopped in your tracks when your heard your big brother say, "I'm worried about Bella though."

"What do you mean?" Your ma asked.

"I hear her crying a lot of the time," he said. "Mostly in the shower when she thinks that nobody can hear her."

You swallowed thickly, you think back to what they just were talking about, _good and bad days,_ you definitely have those. The bad days still a little ahead of the good days in numbers, but you were getting better, or so you thought.

You quietly walk into your room with your tea, hoping that your ma wouldn't tell your mom or mama, but you knew better than that to let it happen.

* * *

Your worst nightmare of being confronted by all three of your moms was happening after dinner the next evening. You were in your room doing homework when you heard the knock on the door, "Come in." You called.

"Hey love," your ma said. "Can we talk to you?"

You turned around to see they all were wearing concerned faces, "Uh yeah, sure." You said moving to the bed. The three of them followed you and sat next to you. "What's up?" You asked, pretending to not know, but _you knew._

"Justin made a mention that you've been crying a lot when you think no one can hear you. Your sisters also confirmed this," your ma said. "Is that true?" You nodded, your mama embraced you. "What's going on love?"

"I fell in love with a straight girl," you say abruptly, making all three of your moms confused. "Sophie Brady and I'm trying to get over her, but I don't know how most days."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Your mom asked, grabbing your hand.

"I didn't really want to be reminded that I fell in love with a girl who's straight, out of my league, and someone who only acknowledges my existence outside of the social hierarchy of Evergreen Academy."

"We want to be there for you love," Beca said, "but we need to know _how_ we can."

"I don't know," you said. "That's also another reason why I never said anything. I don't know how you can help because I don't even know how to help myself."

You feel your moms thumb caress your knuckles and you feel your mama tighten your hold on you, "Well, for one, we'll treat this like a break up," your ma said trying steer this conversation somewhere. "For one, we'll get some ice cream and we'll watch whatever you want on tv and mom and mama will hold you and I'll be the runner to get whatever you want to eat."

"Ma," you said, "you don't have to-"

"We're going to take care of you." She said. "And none of us know how to do it, so we'll do it this way until we find a better way."

"Let us in sweetheart," your mom said.

"We want to help you," you mama said. "We love you."

"I don't know how." You said.

"We'll help you," your ma said. "And one day, my love, oh one day, you're going to find the one and you're just going to know that it's right and all this love that you feel for Sophie will feel like such a cloudy distant memory. And you'll love again, it may not feel like anytime soon, but my oh my will you love again."

You nodded and then you felt three sets of arms around you and you thought that you might _finally_ start your healing.

* * *

 **Year 2044, age 22**

You were newly graduated from West Point Military Academy and were at your first duty station. You were off duty at a bar off post with some of your battle buddies. There was a bartender that was there every Friday night and every time she sees you, she picks up your tab and you don't know why. Finally one night, you go up to the bar for another drink, your battle buddies playing pool behind you.

"What's your name?" You asked her as she opened up the beer bottle for you.

"Abby," she answered. "I hear they call you Mitchell, but I assume that's your last name?"

"Bold of you, but yes. It's actually Mitchell-Posen, but that's too long to put on the uniform," You said, it's light and flirty. "My first name is Bella, but in the military, they don't care about that."

"Your rank?" She asked you.

"2nd Lieutenant," you said. "Just got here from West Point a couple of months ago on orders to-"

"Ft. Riley," she said knowingly. "It's the closest Army base to here."

"Okay," you said. "Let me ask you something though, every time we're in here, you pick up my tab and my tab only. Why?"

She shrugged, her shift was almost up because you see the next bartender clocking in, "Let me close out your tab and then buy you another drink and maybe we could talk about it."

You nodded and somewhat blushed, starting to feel feelings that you hadn't felt _at all_ , during your time at West Point, not ever since Sophie, now that you think about it, "Why you blushing over there, Mitchell?" One of the guys called out.

"Shut the fuck up Jackson." You called back and goddamn do you wish you hadn't know this group of friends since the beginning of your time at West Point.

You grabbed the beer that Abby just opened for you and you see that she clocked out and started a tab with the next bartender and grabbed herself a beer too. The two of you went over to a booth in the corner and she got honest with you, "You don't remember the first time you came in here, do you?" You shook your head. "You came in with the same group of people exactly two months ago and you all were celebrating that you all got stationed at the same place and not only were you _battle buddies,_ but you were _drinking buddies_ too." She took a deep breath and said, "I wasn't having a good day that day and you noticed that and while all your buddies were being dicks to me, you were the nicest one and I took an interest in you. And I realized that after my abusive, now, ex husband, I could love again. And I don't even know where you stand sexuality wise and this could be too forward, but-" You cut her off by kissing her and you don't even know where this boldness came from, but you do know that you like this woman and you wanted nothing more than to get to her a lot better.

So you did, you sat and learned that she got a divorce and started to question her own sexuality realized that she was gay and she moved her and her son to this small town right outside of Fort Riley in Kansas to get a new start. She was in school studying to be a high school English teacher. You told her about never really being in a relationship before because your goal was to graduate West Point at the top of your class and you did. You told you'd been in love before, but it was with some straight cheerleader who ended up going to Yale to study the performing arts and the two of you are now actually back to being solid friends. You told her everything that she would listen to before all your battle buddies were ready to go.

You and Abby exchanged phone numbers and a relationship began. You asked her to marry you a year later in that same bar. She said yes. You two married right before your first long deployment.

* * *

 **Year 2047, age 25**

You finally got off the plane and you headed down towards baggage claim where you know your wife and stepson would be waiting. You had been debriefed in Kansas before flying to New York to start your leave. You saw your wife and stepson waiting, excited to have you home. You knew it was going to be a long night because you all were headed to New Jersey from New York City to go meet your nephew. You couldn't believe that your big brother was now a father. You greet your wife with a bone crushing hug and a long kiss. It had been a year since you were in her arms and a long year at that. You then hugged Thomas, a 10 year old boy who did a lot of warming up to you, but loved you now nonetheless.

You feel your phone vibrating in your pocket and see that your mama is trying to FaceTime you. You answer it with your arm around Abby, "Hi mama." You said.

"Hi baby," she said excitedly. "Did you just land?"

"I did," you said nodding. "We're on our way to you. Should be in Jersey City in the next half an hour."

"Good, good." Your mama said. "He's here and we're all excited to meet him and see you, Abby, and Tommy."

"Can't wait, mama." You said.

"Now hang up and get here already," you hear your ma say in the background.

You chuckled through a goodbye and walked with your family to the parking garage, you're exhausted, but you know that Abby gets anxious driving through the city so you took over. When you arrived at the hospital, you realized that you were still in your uniform, but you were too anxious to see the rest of your family to care about people thanking you for your service.

Abby sees your family in the waiting room before you do, "Hi everyone," she said softly, making your moms, sisters, and brother-in-law jump up to greet you all.

It wasn't until that night, when you and Abby were watching Caleb through the window were all the other babies that were sleeping in the maternity ward where she brings it up, "I know you want to make the Army your 20+ year career, but have you ever thought about having kids of our own? I know you love Tommy, but-"

"No, I did a lot of thinking about it on my deployment, but didn't want to bring it up until you were ready." You said.

"I could carry the baby," she suggests. "So that you're career is intact."

You shrug, "We don't have to make decisions right now love," you said. "But, we can start talking about it, once I have eight hours of sleep and am a few days into my leave."

She turns to you and kisses you hard. So hard that you don't see your moms, who had come to see Caleb, smiling at the love you had found and created, knowing just how far you had come.

* * *

 **A/N:** So that was longer than I was expecting it to be, but I'll take it.


	3. Finding Your Peace

**A/n:** Writing this family is super cathartic for me. Like all these emotions have been flowing and I'm starting to really feel.

Thank you for the support.

This is **Anna's** chapter.

 **Trigger warning:** some violence, language, minor self-harm.

* * *

 **Chapter Three: Finding Your Peace**

 **Anna Rose Mitchell-Posen**

 **Year 2047, age 23**

You were sitting scrolling through Twitter as you waited for your brother to come out and announce you an aunt. You were sitting next to your twin sister Nicole and her husband Logan. You look over to see your threes moms cuddled together.

Your life was great—you play professional soccer and you plan to coach it after you're done playing. You stay single while all three of your siblings got married—you know it worries your mom and mama a lot and you know your ma doesn't think too much about it, but you liked having one night stands—with both men and women—because it gave you a sense of freedom that you didn't necessarily know you needed until college.

You found yourself looking over at Nicole—she was bullied a lot in high school and you got in trouble a lot for always taking the first swing to protect her. The two of you were inseparable even now with her married and a career as an computer software engineer. The twin telepathy thing actually was a thing and even though there was a country between you two now, with you in Chicago and she in NYC, you both always _knew_ what was up. It wasn't always like that though. There was a period of time in the last ten years where she wanted absolutely nothing to do with you, but in a weird turn of events, you two were back to where you were before everything went down.

But as you looked at her now, a successful engineer married to another successful engineer, you couldn't help, but think about how just a decade ago as you two were making that transition from middle school to high school where you were.

* * *

 **Year 2037, age 13**

You knew this probably wasn't a good thing—sitting in your headmaster's office at Evergreen Academy waiting for one of your moms to pick you up and take you home after they talked to the headmaster, but you couldn't help yourself from protecting your twin sister from being bullied by some freshman that still somehow linger around the middle school halls to pick on Nicole and her alone.

Your ma was the one to pick you up and part of you was grateful because sure she'd be upset, but she wouldn't yell at you. Well, none of your moms would yell, but your ma would probably make a joke or two about it because that's how she works every time this happened. Your mom and mama would be rightfully pissed, but your ma would try to defuse the situation and every time you hear your mom or mama ask why, she'd remind them about how that's what she did growing up and in early college.

"Is it broken?" Your ma asked sitting next to you after checking in with the receptionist. You shrugged. "Well, mom and mama aren't too happy right now." You shrugged again, "Come on slugger," she said putting her arm around your shoulders, "talk to me."

"These high school kids were bullying Nicole," you said softly. "And I bet they're in there with their parents making it seem like it's all my fault."

"Bullying Nicole?" She asked. You nodded. "What makes you think they're in there making _your_ fault?"

"Their parents are donors to the school," you said. "They've been picking on her since we were in the third grade."

"These the kids you always are getting into trouble with?" She asked, you nodded. She took a deep breath, "Okay," she said. "I'll see what I can do, but you gotta stop throwing the first punch, okay? You could be close to explosion at this point."

You nodded as she got up and knocked on the headmaster's office door and you sat with your head in your hands. Just hoping and praying that you aren't going to get expelled.

It was ten minutes before you heard your ma's voice again, "You've been suspended for two days, but it's not going to go on your record. The only reason for the suspension is because of appearance. The freshmen in there have been suspended as well for bullying Nicole." She sat down next to you. "You have a lot of aggression in you and I don't know why, but I'm not going to be able to save you all the time, so we gotta challenge that aggression into something. I know you have soccer, but we clearly need something else."

"It doesn't matter." You said. "I'm just always gonna be angry, right? It's in my dna."

Your ma was confused on where this talk was coming from, she wrapped her arm right around you, "Hey, what's this talk?" She asked softly.

"You think I don't hear what mom says about me having your dna? How Nicole is the essence of mama and I'm just another you?" You half heartedly chuckle. "It's whatever, ma. Let's just get home so mom and mama can ground me indefinitely."

You try and get up, but she pulls you back down, "They aren't going to ground you. I'll explain it to them." She said.

"Not knowing that I took the first swing," you said.

"I'll talk them down," your ma said, pulling you closer.

* * *

You didn't know what was more awkward that all three of your moms were arguing in front of you and that they wouldn't let you go to your room or that you are kind of _touched_ that your ma was sticking up for you.

"She was protecting Nicole," your ma argued. "I don't think she should get in trouble for that."

"She took the first swing," your mom argued back, your mama agreeing, "what kind of example are we setting if we don't do something about it?"

"So, we're just going to ignore that she," your ma gestured to you, "was protecting her sister? So in return, we're going to ignore that there were three high school kids coming to the middle school to take her lunch and shove her into her locker? We're just going to ignore all of what she was doing it for? She wasn't just going around throwing punches."

Your mama then turned to you, "Why'd you do it?" She asked. "Like we know you did it to protect your sister, but there were better options, why'd you take a swing?

"Anger rose up in me and I saw red and then I didn't realize that I took a swing until I hit the guy's jaw." You said. "I hate seeing her so helpless. It's not fair that these kids get away with murder because their parents are donors to the school. I'm sorry for potentially causing injury to another person, but I'm not sorry for protecting my sister for being smart, for like things like STEM. I don't get how Nicole is bullied all the time and Bella isn't. I promised myself that I would protect Nicole _at all costs_. Soccer is usually my outlet, but it's hard when we don't necessarily have the backyard to do it and there's no place with a soccer net."

"We need to find you an outlet for you anger," your mom said.

"Soccer season is only a few months unless I'm in a competitive club." You offer feeling guilty.

You watched their faces fall, the reason why you only played for your school and didn't play for a competitive club like most of your friends do is because of how much parent involvement there was in those clubs. All three of your moms were busy with their careers and raising you and your siblings, they couldn't add the tournaments, traveling, and everything that came with being in a soccer club nine out of the twelve months out of the year.

"Maybe it's time that we got you into one," your mom said. "If it's your outlet, we aren't opposed to it." Your mama and ma nodded in agreement.

"What about the parent involvement? The tournaments? Travel time? And the fact that for nine out of twelve months I'll be in season and the other three months I'll be either resting or practicing?" You get out somewhat quickly.

"We'll work that out," your mama said looking at your mom and ma. "If you need this, we'll make it work."

"Okay," you breathed. "Okay."

* * *

You were doing better with your anger, you've been nonstop in practice and at games for the last couple of months. You're actually doing much better in school, but you were tired as you got out the car on Christmas Eve to go to your ma's label party. You noticed that Justin didn't get out of the car, but you didn't think much of it.

"Is everything okay?" Your ma asked your mom.

"I'll figure it out," your mom says. "You all go inside. Especially you Bec, this is your company, go hang out with your employees and the family, I got Justin."

You all started to go inside when your ma pulled you into her, "You good love?" She asked.

You nodded, "Yeah, just really tired," you say. "I apologize in advance if I fall asleep in a corner somewhere."

"You've been working hard," your mama said coming into the conversation. "All you kids have, so it's okay. We'll let you sleep in tomorrow, okay? Delay some of the Christmas family traditions until you feel more rested."

"Yeah," you ma said kissing your temple. "You deserve some rest, striker."

You chuckled, "Thanks ma," you said. "And mama," you quickly added.

You don't know how they made it work, but they rotated as a team to allow you to play for a club that could get you to the world cup one day. Your mom had one week, your mama had the next, and your ma had the following week and they rotated. If something came up, one of the other two would rearrange their schedule for you. You were grateful.

As you and most of your family walked into the party, everyone seemed to clap for your ma. It had been a big, successful year for her and her employees, artists, and bands were all more than willing to celebrate this year. You stood next to your ma and watched your mama and sisters begin to mingle with everyone. Well your mama and twin did, you noticed that Bella was trying whatever she could to hide. You noticed that she's been really withdrawn lately. She threw herself into school and STEM ever since her and Justin's homecoming. So much so that you would go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and still see her light on. One time you saw her working on something on her computer. You never questioned it though, you just figured she was trying so hard to maintain her impressive 4.0 gpa to stay on the cross country team and head to West Point.

"Oh is this Anna?" One of the artists asked your ma.

You raised an eyebrow because how the _fuck_ does she know who you are, "Yes," your ma said. "I have pictures of all you kids in my office," she then says to you, making you less confused.

"How's your quest to making it to the US World Cup team?" The artist, Jaime Stevens, you placed face with name, asked.

"Good, it wasn't my original plan, but this team I'm on challenges me to be better." You said smiling because as tired as you are, you love talking about soccer.

"That's so good," Jaime said. "You happy with it?"

You shrugged, "I'm motivated and focused." You said.

"I hope that my future kids have someone like you to look up to." She said, making your eyebrows shoot up.

"Thank you," you stutter out.

You look around the room, you see your mama talking to Bell and brushing hair out of her face. You see Nicole standing awkwardly by herself. You excuse yourself to go over to her, "Hey Nic," you said.

"Hey," she said back.

You two hadn't really had the time to talk recently and you know you and your siblings didn't necessarily want to be here, so you took this time to talk with her.

"I actually hate our Christmas Eve traditions," you say softly.

She chuckled, "Same really." She said. "I've missed you though. That team is keeping you busy."

"I miss you too, Nic." You said. "I'm sorry for not being around."

She put a hand on your shoulder, "You need this sissy." She said. "I understand."

You shrugged, "But still, I miss you." You said, putting your hand on her wrists, she winces a little. Your eyebrows raise, "You okay?" She nods and takes back her hands. "Nic," you breathe. "Are you-" you stop when you realize. "Nic," you breathe again.

"I'm gonna go," she said and quickly walked away.

You stood there in shock and couldn't move. Your twin was- was hurting herself, _on purpose._ You stood and stared at the direction she walked in for a while and didn't move.

How could you be so careless that you didn't even notice your twin sister was struggling?

* * *

You were pacing back and forth a week later still in shock about your sister. You should tell your moms, right? No, they're so busy dealing with Justin in the hospital. What about your sister Bella? No, she was studying.

You didn't know how long she was pacing for, but you figured it was long enough to make your mom worried as she passed by your room twice seeing you pacing, "What are you thinking about love?" She asked you leaning against the doorframe.

You took a deep breath, "You, ma, and mama have a lot on your plate. Don't wanna add to it." You said.

"Being a parent to multiple children means you're juggling the emotions and hardships of those multiple children." She said with a shrug. "What's going on love?"

"It's about Nicole," you said after a moment.

"What about her?" She asked.

"I think she's harming herself, _purposefully._ " You said scared out of your mind. "I grabbed her wrists gently and she _winced_ at the contact." You began pacing back and forth again.

Your mom came into the room and stopped you, "Okay," she said, visibly swallowing. "Thank you for telling me."

"I'm scared, Mom." You said now crying.

"I know baby." She said pulling you into her. "We'll get to the bottom of it. I promise."

"Should I quit soccer for a little while? To be with her?" You asked.

"No, no, no." Your mom said. "You need that, okay baby? Your moms and I will take care if it, okay?" You nodded and sunk into your mom, the faint smell that you grew up knowing all the time while being in her arms. This was your safe place. The way that she was a tough lawyer in the courtroom and sometimes the tough parent. She was the one that you know you and your brother felt the safest in her arms. Your sisters found solace in your ma and your mama, but you and your brother found it in your mom. You let the warmth of the sweatshirt she was wearing and the arms around you take over. You find your comfort, you find your peace.

Maybe you couldn't save your twin sister from everything, but you knew that you could save yourself. You threw yourself into soccer.

* * *

 **Year 2044, age 20**

You're now on the USA women's soccer team, you couldn't believe your luck. After just one season with the Chicago Red Stars, you got on the national team. You were ecstatic when you got the news and the first person you called was Nicole.

"Hey," she answered. "What's up?"

"I just made the Women's USA soccer team," you said into the phone.

It was quiet for a moment, things over the last seven years had been rocky between you two, but you were still trying to get that special connection back. You worked hard to get to this moment, you played competitive soccer through high school, went to community college and played college soccer, only to appease your mom and mama, who wanted you to have a backup plan if your career didn't work out, and then just after one season of professional soccer, you had made it to where you want: the national soccer team. Nicole had to be excited for you, right? _Right?_

"Oh, that's cool." She said, seemingly distracted. "Have you told moms yet?"

You sighed, you knew she was probably in the middle of a project because you two grew apart, you never knew her schedule, but you just really wanted for your sister to be genuinely excited for you, "Uh no, you were the first person I called."

"Why?" And you can almost hear the confused look on her face. Ever since you told your mom about her self-harm, she'd been angry at you and didn't trust you.

"Because despite everything, you're my twin and I'm sorry that you're angry and don't trust me, but I wanted _you_ to be the first to know." You said a little angrily. "And I'm not sorry about that. I've dreamed of this moment since I started playing soccer when I was four. So _forgive me_ for wanted to share it with you first."

There was silence on the phone. You were trying to hold back tears at this point. Seven years of emotions just falling free. You loved your twin more than anything. You wanted her there cheering you on, like your moms and two older siblings did. You wanted her to feel like she can trust you again. You can feel that she's processing years of your suppressed anger and guilt. You held it in to make her feel like that she could put the space between you two, but you're angry. Mainly at yourself for letting everything be bottled up inside.

"I don't hate you," she said softly. "You did the right thing. And I'm sorry that I treated you poorly. I never realized that it affected you the way that it did."

"Do you remember what it was like from that point on?" You asked. "How you literally shut me out?"

"I- I was- was _angry_." She said. "And mostly not at you, I was angry at myself for- for you finding out."

"Why?" You asked, somewhat annoyed.

"Because I thought I could do this on my own," she said. "I didn't want your or moms, or the siblings help. I wanted to process everything alone. You already left me alone to get where you are today. I had to go through it alone."

"You don't have to go through _anything_ alone, Nic." You said softer than your previous tone. "Not a single thing."

"But I do," she said. "Even the stuff going on right now."

"What stuff?" You asked, knowing that her undergrad program was challenging her in ways that you didn't understand, or at least that's what your moms told you.

"Just- just stuff." She said, still not trusting you with the big stuff. "You- you should call moms and tell them your news. And then call Justin and text Bella. You know ever since she got sent to Fort Riley she hasn't really picked up her phone."

You sighed and let the tears fall out and down your face, "Okay," you said, not wanting to push her.

"Congratulations, twin." She said. "Bye."

You didn't even get to say goodbye to her before she hung up. You threw your phone on the kitchen counter in front of you and you grabbed the edge of it. You let out a sob and then fell to your knees crying. Somewhat grateful that you have a studio apartment all to yourself in Chicago. You didn't think you'd ever be close to your twin sister again and that broke you in ways you couldn't even begin to describe.

You pulled yourself together and the stood back up and called your mom. You figured she'd actually answer, "Hi love," her voice came over the phone. "Did you hear back yet? Hold on lemme grab your ma and mama and put you on speaker."

You smiled because you couldn't wait to tell them, you couldn't wait to share the news, but you needed to stay strong and not let them know that you know _something_ is up with Nicole. You figured if you were going to try and build that trust back up, you wouldn't do the one thing that put you in this situation in the first place.

You heard the rustling of the phone and your mom talking to your ma and mama about you being on the phone, "Okay love," your mom said. "You're on speaker with all of us, tell us."

You paused for a second and took a deep breath, "I made the national team," you said softly.

"Yes!" You heard three screams on the other line. "You're going to the World Cup?" You hear your ma ask.

You nod, but realize that it isn't FaceTime, so you then quickly said, "I'm going to the World Cup."

"We're so happy for you baby," your mama said. "We'll be sure to take the time off to come support you."

"Oh moms," you said softly. "You don't have to do that."

"Like hell we aren't," you ma said. "We're gonna be there, cheering the _loudest_ for you."

You chuckled quietly, "Well alright." You said.

"Are you okay love?" Your mom asked. "We thought you'd be a little more excited than this."

"I am excited," you said. "It's just-"

"Just what hun?" Your mama asked. "Here let's switch it to FaceTime, so we can see you."

The phone switched to FaceTime and the moment you saw all three of your moms' face, you couldn't hold the tears in. You then sighed, there's no sense in lying to them now, "I- I called Nicole first," you said, voice slightly cracking, "and she- she said she has stuff going on and I know things have been rocky between the two of us since- well, since I told mom about the self-harm stuff, but I- I just want a relationship with again and I don't think I'm ever going to get that back." You saw the three of them take deep breaths and look at each other, all having a conversation with their eyes, "What's- what's going on?"

"You know how your sister is," your ma said. "She failed an exam that she didn't really fail, but you know anything less than an A is failing to her and she- she kind of relapsed."

Your eyes went wide, "How- how did you find out?" You asked, tears now flowing down your face.

"Her dorm roommate found her and called us," your mom said. "We've been helping her get back on track, don't worry."

You rack your brain to see if it was possible and feasible to come home for just the weekend, but you were interrupted by one of your moms, "And don't come home either," your mama said knowing that's what you were thinking. "That will just make things worse."

"Just let things unfold the way they do with her," your ma said softly, rubbing your mama's back. "Things will work out, I promise you."

And then you find your shoulders relaxing and you let your moms comfort you over FaceTime, finding your peace.

* * *

 **Year 2047, age 23**

You and Nicole did reconnect after you got back from winning the World Cup that summer and it may not be exactly where you both were a decade ago, but you wouldn't trade it for the world.

You were brought of your memories by Bella coming into the waiting room with Abby and Tommy. You saw your moms jump up to greet them and Nicole and her husband Matthew get up behind them. You waited until everyone sat down before going to Bella and giving her a big hug, "Welcome home," you whispered.

She hugged you back in the fiercest way she could and then you went to say hi to your sister-in-law and nephew before sitting back down next to Nicole. The engineer put her head on your shoulder and you wrap a loose arm around her and she whispers something that was only meant for you to know in that moment.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered.

You look at her with wide eyes not expecting her to explain any further. You were about ready to ask her if she was serious when Justin came out to say you could all come back to see your nephew that was just born.

Later, when it was just the two of you, you finally asked the question, "You're really pregnant?" She nodded. "Does- does Matthew know?"

She nodded again, "But, I wanted you to be the first to know in the family." She said. "And Matthew and I talked about it and we want you to be their godmother. If- if that's okay with you?"

You nodded and brought her into a fierce hug, "Of course, of course." You said tears of joy running down your face.

You let go of her as she said, "We're waiting to tell the family until Caleb is at least three weeks old."

You hugged her again, "Congratulations, Nic." You said. "I'm _so_ happy for you."

And you found your peace in your twin sister's arms that night.

* * *

 **A/N:** The next chapter is gonna be Nicole's journey through self-harm and then Triple-Treble.

Also thinking about doing one shots about all the events in between that I don't cover here, haven't decided yet.


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